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The · Chronicles · of · Scarlet · Carsen

The Voice of Blunt Honesty

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Me: Hey stomach you said having some oysters yesterday would keep me happy, what gives?
Stomach: Ohh..I dunno, talk to brain, maybe eating more chocolate will help?
Me: Hi Brain, are you giving me a chemical imbalance?
Brain: You shouldn't have drank last night. I’m bored today so I’m going to over analyze all the things you can’t change and have no control over.
Me: I only had one drink last night!
Brain: Yeah well then talk to heart, it’s probably the reason why you feel sad. To be honest though I’m sleep deprived and why did you think taking a break from coffee cold turkey was a wise decision? I'm more helpful when you give me something to do.
Stomach: OMG! Can we get some coffee later!?please!?please!please!?
Brain: Yes, will need coffee or a nap might suffice.
Me: Heart? What is wrong now?
Heart: You know or should know perfectly well what’s wrong and where not on speaking terms until my demands are met!
Me: ...*sigh
***eats more chocolate***
Current Location:
Current Mood:
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Tragedy took a life today
Trial by fire
Is probably the worst possible way to go
For someone who always had a smile
Even in days dark and dreary
With a booming voice sometimes adorned in corpse paint
She lead newly hatched ducklings to the treacherous seas
In an industry so cut throat she always slashed back
She can finally rest her sword and shield
Yet I still feel the Universe is being damn unfair
It gave her the american dream
And then it got swept from under her feet
But she kept on running feeling no defeat
In her fight she did lose sleep
She was worked to the bone
Even when her wellness was steep
But she always got the job done
She always had her wit and her guns
Walked with legs of steel
Never slowing down while wearing skull crushing boots on
Nothing could hold her down
She just got back on that stage
And tore it a new one

To draw the curtain close so soon
On someone who wasn't very physically old
She supported so meany
Loved so much
Never gave a fuck
A true rebel at heart
I hope she’s saying hi to all the legends up there
I’ll try to wear the most colorful shirts I own
And learn to never give up
I got a feeling she’d be pissed off if I did

Poem dedicated to Anderson Mar-Desjardins
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I'll be showing some new stuff for next month's NAVE art exhibit at the Annex location in Davis Square. My hope was to get into one art show this year to kick myself back into the right direction. Painting and drawing, it's what I'm good at. My resume has looked sad from my 2-3 year break of art shows. I'm not going to let so much interference distract me this time. I want to thank my friend Hilary who told me about the show, Giuliana who helped photograph my work and other friends who helped to inspire me and gave me moral support. More info TBA later about the show. It's defiantly a step in the right direction.

Current Music:
Paramore - Turn it Off
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To sum it up = feathery dreads and a brown sun dress, very intimate/acoustic set from K’s Choice, Sunny afternoon, banana pecan pancakes with cream of wheat, more comics about awesome ladies, bumping into friends, tasty salmon on russetto? rice and sexy rumpus. :3

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And I've bagged up so much craft stuff for my Spring Fling Craft Swap thing happening May 4th 2pm-5pm and then anything still left, I'll try to get rid of it at a garage sale or all donate it.
The craft room is more open after the clean out. Soon I'll be able to work on my bigger projects in there. At the moment I've fallen back into water color painting, which is awesome.
It's as if the warmer weather has awaken my Muse once more. :)
I hope to use the Italian boy I've been dating as a figure drawing model for a body of work/call for artist, deadline is mid next month. I'll also help him and his family paint his room this Sunday.
Bills this month are going to suck me dry but I plan to attend Boston Comic con for the first time this year.
I did my first walk for an organization that helps rape victims, the BARCC. I was able to raise $115 dollars.

Spring Cocktail:
1 or 2 Shots of Bols Genever gin
splash or teaspoon of sweet vermouth
1/2 teaspoon of St. Germain
Fresh muddled/chopped up basil
Place ingredients with a few ice cubes in shaker, shake very well and serve drink in a chilled martini glass. Enjoy! :)
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Current Music:
Kate Havnevik - Disobey
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Update my portfolio with new prints of finished work.

Compile poetry from when I was 14 up till now and draw or paint depictions to go with poem. Then try to get the artbook/poetry book published.

Get the rest of what I need together for my Batwoman costume and set up a professional photo shoot and then submit photos to Geekgirls.com.

Figure out my options for recording equipment and start doing video for Vblogging aka My Drunk Crafting! Co-starring a good friend hopefully.

Work some more on the wordpress website?

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I never thought I’d smoke a cigarette in bed
Until I met you
But these things are electric
So if you're offering then that’s what all do

please don’t run away with my heart
if we were in a race
you would surely win
I have a limp
and everywhere I go
I pull a ship wreck
not ready for disposal
not yet

Sounds like we have both been dragging
Ankers that use to serve a purpose
you're rebuilding castles
while I’m trying to re paint the fallen sky

Like a beautifully carved statue
I can’t easily look away
I want you part of my gallery
Even if you disappear or crumble away

If what I’m feeling
Is fleeting
I’ll find away
To trap it in a bottle
So it may float in the ocean
Current Mood:
indifferent indifferent
Current Music:
Gotye - Save Me
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There has been a lot of this going on

No Doubt - New

NERVO - You're Gonna Love Again

mind.in.a.box- identity

The Birthday Massacre - Goodnight

Current Mood:
good good
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it’s time to return
to the rose garden
your final fight
can’t be done
under broken branches
you’ve played your part
your petals have fallen off
so return to the place
so you can rejuvenate

find a mirror
see the creature
trapped in this place
too much city life
will turn you into a puppet
so many people
you have to run around
like a headless horsemen
just to find yourself
an empty vase
that use to own
beautifully alive roses

it’s time to return
to the rose garden
before you become dust
not everyone
can act like adults
some just want a fan club
but you just need
people you can trust
which is hard to achieve
I go blind
trying to read between the lines

find a mirror
see the corpse
trapped in your eyes now
They made her all stuffed
like a wax doll
In this sick Mütter Museum
everything smells so nice
and in the corner of your eye
the mind plays games
she’s reaching out
what is she trying to say?

it’s time to return
to the rose garden
before you completely lose yourself
you had no words to say
you can see her pain
your heart is setting up traps
so nothing sharp can fall in
you understand
this isn’t a movie screening
where all slowly falling
from grace
the mind likes to play games
because reality can be a scary place
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
Tori Amos - I can't see New York
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RIP Grandma, your in a better place, free of pain now.

....every day becomes more surreal.

Current Mood:
gloomy gloomy
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It started to turn into this...

The end result...

Now I don't know what to do...

My crazy subconscious...
Current Music:
Madonna - Frozen. Tori Amos - Strange, Kate H. - Grace, BM - Long Way home
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Depressions like a big fur coat, it's made of dead things but it keeps me warm.

A very good expression, (not mine.)

Current Music:
Icon For Hire - Pieces
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In they end we all feel the same, being able to show emotions is what makes us different from the rest that exist in this world. But we are like the circle, there are rules we can not break nor do we fully understand what we can't see, touch or taste. I hope some mysteries still linger while more questions are created to be answered. Other then having the luxury to perceive what we can see and feel, this is only the second gift life can offer us.
Current Mood:
gloomy gloomy
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the distance grows thicker. Nobody really knows each other anymore. Nobody is really reading anything important. If your not connected in cyber space your off the grid. You may as well float in outer space. I sure feel like a hunk of space junk right at this moment.

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*sign* I stumbeled onto this blog and wish I hadn't... http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2004/01/irresistible-dating-prospects-from.html
It was probably the reason why alternative lifestyle sites such as Gothic Personals disappeared forever. Gothic Personals was a mix of today's popular Okcupid and Fetlife only better. The search engine alone for example was F'N AMAZING! Yes there where a few weirdos on GP, but between the age of 16-19 (and being a hermit who lived in the country... I felt a little isolated in my tastes of style and music.) of my life I met half of my friends through GP. And yeah I even dated some of them to and nobody I met from GP raped me. (I won't even try making a rape joke to make a point here.) Now we have two dateing/personal sites that are mostly full of asshole's or perverts making it harder for a lonely goth to find there soul mate. Haters are gonna hate and kill everything that's not socially acceptable! just because the writer of this blog is jealous because he's not pretty? Or doesn't understand Drag? Or doesn't understand the whole reason people are online in the first place is because there socially awkward! Well F you Demon baby shit eating tant teaser!

I was going to post this on Facebook, but it makes more sense to post this on live journal... another slowly dying site. *sign
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
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By Friday.... Life has killed me... by Friday life has killed me....

Current Mood:
indescribable indescribable
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Sh*t I want to do this summer/year:
*Actually take the week off for my birthday (my old boss always took time off in August...so taking time off around my birthday was never a good idea.)
*Go to the damn beach!
*Leave the country

I'll be able to do all these things in one month!
Aug 17th I bought tickets to see Jim breuer, one of my top Fav comics.
Then Aug 18th-19th I'm going to the beach!
I was able to book a two night stay in York beach Maine (ok price wise/best price all find booking something so late in the season for a motel room.) York beach and Hampton are the most commonly known beaches I have visited during my childhood. My fondest memories is When me and my best friend at the time went with her family to York beach for the day. We played at the arcade, perused the shops, we almost got swept out to sea due to the strong rip tides. We did it during the last weekend of summer before school. We never had a chance to go together ever again after that. The last time I spent a night in York beach was at a B&B with my mom a few years ago, which was really relaxing.

I took the 20th-27th off from work. I'm probably going to do a late dinner for my actual birthday day at An Tua Nua Monday and then ceremony, maybe attic and then IHOP! My clubby Monday night friends may actually get a chance to meet my B/f if they haven't already as he took the week off as well. :D
We should be well recovered from that till Thursday as our real adventure begins! I've never left the country, but I own a passport now and look forward to hitting up Canada.

I found a hotel ( Le Nouvel Hotel and Spa) It's considered in downtown Montreal that is in my price range, has off street parking if we need it and has a spa. I figured it be nice to get a massage or jump in the whirl pool if we have the time for it. The hotel has mix reviews because it's outdated. We will just wing it, as long as there are no bed bugs and it doesn't smell that bad in terms of cigarette smoke, I'll be fine with it. It's just a place to crash for the night.
I really don't know what to expect and if anybody wants to comment of what I should check out in the city, please do! I'll probably hit up one of the gothy/80's/industrial club nights if there are any down there.
Current Mood:
excited excited
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